The secret to a fulfilling relationship -live your Core Values

The secret to a fulfilling relationship-live your Core Values

Not knowing and following our core values is often the main cause of unfulfilling relationships and despair.

Living Your Core Values is the Secret to creating a fulfilling and lasting relationship.

I am now coaching a woman who was feeling depressed and lost because she drifted from one unfullfilling relationship to another. We worked to uncover her core values and when she started to consciously check in with her values every time she made a decision, her life started to change course. Not only did she find a partner that fulfilled her needs but her friendships changed and became “fun” as she described it. The ones that didn’t fit her values gradually fell away from her life.

When we are aligned with our core values as we make decisions, those decisions support our deepest needs and desires. This is how passion and enthusiasm become ignited.

So how do we find our what our core values are?

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What would I be doing if I knew I absolutely could not fail?
  • What is one of the best days of my life and what about that day made me smile?
  • If I had billions of dollars I would ……… and then describe what you would do next.
  • If I made a movie of my life what would be my favorite part?
  • What do I love to do? What would I love to do if I could do anything right now?
  • Who do I love and admire? What do I admire about that person?

Here is a powerful exercise to determine your core strength. (When we are embodying our strength we are much more able to get in touch with our core values)

1) When Im really being me at my best, what one word really expresses that?

Write down the first on that comes to you and just try it on for the rest of the day.

2)If I’m at my best with other people what 1 word really expresses that. Write the first word that comes to mind down.

Embodying your main core strengths not only helps you to become aware of your values but it makes you more magnetic so that you can live your core values. You are more magnetic because you are being you.  This is a beginning to starting to embody your core strengths

How do your core values guide your path in your relationship?

Notice how you feel with each interaction in your relationship. Are there some things that your partner says and does that make you close down? For example, if you value openness and transparency, is your partner open or do you feel he is evasive or not able to express feelings.

If you value monogamy and he doesn’t want monogamy then the relationship won’t work.

If you value closeness and intimacy and he spends all of his time working and watching sports with the boys, the relalationship won’t work.

When trying to make a decision use your core values to decide and notice how that makes you feel. If your partner has too many core values that are different from yours you will have to decide whether he is right for you.

When you live your core values your current relationship will improve and become more alive, or you will see that he is not right for you. You will then attract better quality men.  Do yourself a favor and get a Life Coach to help you see what your core values are.


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  • SC Graim

    - 7:16 am

    From one Susan to another…
    This is exactly why I’ve created the Value Reflection Cards – because when aligned with core values, we make decisions that support our deepest needs and desires.

    At the beginning of each year, I walk my own talk. I pull out the card deck and do a sort of the 88 values + meanings that will set my path. In 2013, I’m committed to “gratitude”, which is a value that will deeply guide my relationships with family and friends.

    • Susan Quinn

      - 12:11 pm

      Thank you for your comment Susan! I love that you chose “gratitude” because I know what we are grateful for increases exponentially. When we realize what we’re grateful for, we draw good things to ourselves.

      I wish you the best. If you ever feel you’ve strayed from your goal, feel free to contact me.

      Thank you for reading my blog.

    • Susan Quinn

      - 1:48 pm

      Susan I am so glad to hear that you have chosen “gratitude” as a value to guide your relationships. I find that gratitude is a powerful magnet that draws to you more of whatever you express gratitude for as long as you feel the gratitude strongly.
      Best of luck with it.

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