Fear of rejection is a big obstacle to creating a lasting relationship.
Rejection Fear comes from past hurts of being rejected. I’ve seen people carry around rejection fears from seeing other people rejected, so it doesn’t even have to happen to you to affect you deeply.
Until you release this pain or fear that got imprinted into your subconscious mind from past experiences you believe that you will be rejected. What you believe is what you will create. You will always choose people to reject you…In fact if they don’t reject you , will find a way to reject yourself…You’ll come up with something like ,” You don’t really love me, you just love what I do for you”.
Our deeply held beliefs drive all of our behaviors. Many of our beliefs are unconscious and the only way we can identify them is by looking at our behaviors. Strong feelings hold these beliefs in place.
We can change this by going to the memories behind our unwanted actions and then changing the feelings behind them. With the feelings changed the “drivers” are gone and we can imprint new experiences that we’d rather have in their place.
This powerful process for change is called FasterEFT. It is a relatively new process which I find to be really amazing in the results it gets.
Are you in a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder?
Have you had intense passion and intimate feelings for a person with high highs and low lows?
Does this sound familiar: obsessing about him/her, yet no matter what you do, you can’t seem please the person?
If this applies to you, read further to see if you are in a relationship with a “Borderline Personality.”
– Your partner swings from extremes like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
– one moment passionately loving you in a way that makes you feel very special and in the next moment attacking you, threatening you and even raging violently.
– Being blamed and criticized for everything wrong in the relationship to the point that you are afraid to reveal what you really think or feel. You feel like you are in a double bind: you’re dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t. If you ask for anything you are told your needs are wrong or not important.
– Feeling that if you want to keep the relationship you have to deny what you feel to the point that you have become confused about what you really feel. You feel like you’re loosing your grip on reality. Just when you decide you have had enough the Borderline will throw in some caring behavior to throw you off balance and keep you confused.
– When you try to leave the relationship the other person makes declarations of love and devotion or makes threats to you like “no one but me will ever love you.” Emotional abuse victims can be convinced that no one else could want them and they stay in abusive situations because they believe that if they leave they will just be alone forever.
– The abusing person seems to have an uncanny ability to know what you’re thinking and can see into you with such amazing accuracy that you feel special in some way when you are with them much of the time. Longing for these loving moments when you feel seen keep you in the relationship.
-Emotional abuse can be more damaging than psysical abuse because the insults, criticism and accusations chip away at the person’s self esteem and their very core until they blame themselves for the abuse and sometimes even cling to the abuser. Often the abuser in this type of relationship has Borderline Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Traits.
Help is available
If you know anyone who is in a relationship like this please show them this article and let them know that they need help. Both people in an abusive relationship need help. I work with couples in abusive relationships to show them what can be done to create a good relationship. I also can give the person with BPD a referral to a therapist who is skilled in working with this issue. Anyone who is truly committed to doing what it takes to change can change these destructive behaviors and learn how to have a good relationship.
Listen or download a 5 minute EFT instruction for tapping away anxiety FREE Audio Download
Remove emotional pain quickly with a technique you can do yourself in just minutes. With skilled guidance, you can not only remove emotional pain quickly, but also remove physical pain quickly.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is one of the Energy Therapies for emotional release that Susan uses at her Los Angeles office. It’s short-term therapy, with clients reporting almost instant improvement.
Since this removes feelings that have caused low self esteem and depression, it is a tool everyone can use on an everyday basis to help with low self esteem, relationship problems, depression, PTSD, fear and anxiety disorders, eating disorders or debilitating negative beliefs, controlling-anger issues and more.
EFT works great with children.
I teach EFT to families so that each one can use it when they need it-because I think it’s a wonderful tool for managing anxiety and other emotions. The most amazing thing about EFT is that clearing these fears removes scary and self-limiting beliefs that have been driving people their whole lives.
How to Do EFT
Emotional Freedom Therapy was developed by Gary Craig, who simplified Roger Callahan’s revolutionary Thought Field Therapy (TFT).
EFT works directly on the energy points (meridian system) of the body. Like acupressure, relief comes in part from stimulating the meridians. But instead of needles, the person’s meridians are tapped with the fingers. Whether EFT is performed by a therapist or self-applied, over 80% of people achieve either noticeable improvement or complete cessation of the problem.
These methods work by triggering sub-cortical activity below the level of conscious control (in the amygdala and hippocampus). The intensity of emotional responses are also reduced. A body of documented scientific studies prove the benefits of EFT are real.
Remove emotional pain quickly – with a technique you can do yourself, one that you can learn in just minutes!
With skilled guidance, you can not only remove emotional pain quickly, but also remove physical pain quickly.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is one of the new EnergyTherapies that Susan Quinn employs at her Los Angeles office. It’s short-term therapy, with clients reporting almost instant improvement. Some report full recovery from emotional and physical pain. EFT is also helpful for removing the cravings of addictions such as alcohol and drugs.
Once she began exploring the new Power Therapies 15 years ago , Susan Quinn has been integrating EFT with EMDR and uses this combinations with children, adolescents and even with couples.
Works with Families and Children
EFT
“I teach EFT to all my clients, even children,” says Susan Quinn, “because I think it’s a wonderful tool for managing anxiety and other emotions.The most amazing thing about EFT is that even in times when unexpected emotions arise, such as fear or anxiety, a person has a toolbox to use and knows how to reduce their fear.”
It doesn’t matter whether your goal is to remove emotional pain quickly or remove physical pain quickly. The short-term therapy of EFT can bring relief from phobias, depression, grief, rape, natural disasters, crime, childhood sexual abuse, post traumatic stress and more.
Although Power Therapy methods differ in emphasis and approach, all work by interrupting old habits and reflexes that were established around the painful incidents.
“The beliefs that have the most power are unconscious, so they have to be carefully teased out,” Susan Quinn says. “But these techniques provide tangible relief from the time they’re tried for most people.”
What is EFT?
EFT tapping, or Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) belong to a family of therapies that offer clinically effective alternatives to traditional, long-term treatments. These Power therapies usually require 6 to 12 sessions to relieve symptoms and the results are usually permanent.
Each short-term therapy can remove emotional pain quickly, remove physical pain quickly, and provide noticeable relief from negative emotions and trauma by rewiring neural pathways in the brain.
The painful reactions are replaced with non-distressful, more appropriate responses. The client almost immediately experiences a reduction in intensity of the distress.
These methods work by triggering sub-cortical activity below the level of conscious control (in the amygdala and hipocampus). The intensity of emotional responses are also reduced. A body of documented scientific studies prove the benefits are real.Fortunately, a person doesn’t have to believe in these techniques for them to work.
How to Do EFT
Emotional Freedom Therapy was developed by Gary Craig, who simplified Roger Callahan’s revolutionary Thought Field Therapy (TFT). A TFT therapist followscomplex tapping sequences (protocols) for numerous symptoms. By contrast, EFT taps on the same meridian points on the face and body for every problem.
EFT Tapping
EFT tapping works directly on the energy points (meridian system) of the body. Like acupuncture, relief comes in part from stimulating the meridians. But instead of needles, the person’s meridians are tapped with the fingers. Whether EFT is performed by a therapist or self-applied, over 80% of people achieve either noticeable improvement or complete cessation of the problem.
Relieve stress with this 3 MINUTE BREATHING EXERCISE
When you feel stressed or a low mood coming…this 3 minute breathing exercise will change your state and give you peace.
1. Sitting in a comfortable chair close your eyes. Just watch your thoughts, feelings and sensations going by from 1 moment to the next, in your mind for 1 minute.
2. Let go of your mind and move your awareness to only focus on your breath in your stomach as the stomach rises with the inhale and falls with the exhale for 1 minute.
3. Expand your awareness so that you feel complete body as a whole, from the top of your head to the soles of the feet for 1 minute.
You will see how you will feel very different after you do this for 3 minutes.
This is effective in changing your mood and feelings through MINDFULNESS, which uses the process of befriending your feelings- not requiring anything to change, but simply encountering what is without the intention of resolving anything.
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EFT
