Are you in a Relationship with an emotionally abusive person with Borderline Personality?
Abusive Relationships: Are you in a Relationship with an emotionally abusive person with Borderline Personality?
Disorder Does your partner seem like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
Recovering From Emotionally abusive relationship often involves a person with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) causes a person to become very controlling in an attempt to avoid being rejected, which is their greatest fear.
Emotional Abuse- Does your Relationships have these characteristics:
The one thing that a BPD (border personality disorder) person needs the most is for their partner to set clear and definite limits. When a partner enforces these boundaries, it helps the partner to become more confident and the BPD person to feel safer, by knowing how far they can go. The limits actually help people feel safe because it teaches them how to behave so that they aren’t rejected. An abusive relationship cannot continue when the partner maintains clear and strong limits as to what is acceptable behavior.
In order to know if you are in an abusive relationship, one must first be aware of these warning signs.
Stages of an Abusive Relationship:
Abusive Relationship Recovery
Emotional abuse is like brainwashing- it systematically wears away the victim’s sense of self worth, and trust in their perceptions. If this feels like your relationship, please get the help of a therapist who is experienced in dealing with an abusive relationship before every trace of self esteem in you is destroyed.
There is Hope for moving forward
Many people rind themselves involved with a BPD because they are very charming and make you feel very desired and loved …at first. It is natural and healthy to want to be loved. They have an acute ability to tune in on the very things a person is most vulnerable about. They use this in the beginning to get close to you and then later to threaten and control you.
Common questions people ask me are:
Am I crazy or sick to be with a Borderline Personality Disorder?
The answer is NO. You are probably just a nice and trusting person (maybe co dependent). BPD’s are drawn to trusting and compassionate people because they know that they can be more easily manipulated.
Emotional abuse is in many ways more damaging than violence because the victim often feels guilty. If you were being hit you would know that you are not the abuser. With emotional abuse you sense of worthiness is undermined because we naturally expect people that we love to treat us with compassion and respect for our feelings . When we don’t get this we naturally assume it is our fault ( because we are defective and therefore unworthy of respect and compassion).
If you fall prey to these types of relationships lets this be a sign that you need to heal your childhood wounds once and for all so that you can have the love you deserve. When you have a strong inner self you can more easily see and resist manipulation and flattery. You are also able to be objective about other people. You must start to notice when people lie or have no empathy for other human beings. These are the major signs of a Borderline Personality Disorder.
As part of your recovery you will discover why you attracted this type of person in the first place. You will then be able to start to heal yourself fo that you can have the healthy relationships that you deserve.
You probably are not very aware of your own emotional needs and how to get them met. You probably don’t know how to set boundaries. These are things that you can learn when you decide you are ready for a healthy relationship that includes mutuality, mutual affection and emotional support.
Therapy is available for BPD.
While I work with couples in an emotionally abusive relationship, I have team members who specialize in treating BPD. I encourage anyone who wants to have a successful relationship to get this help.