Couples Counseling

Couples Counseling Los Angeles


When a new couple comes to see me for therapy they tell me about the failed attempts they have made at couples therapy which leave them feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about changing their relationship. I am their last-ditch effort.

Couples Counseling Los Angeles

This makes me feel very sad for them because there are definitely things people can do to create trust, intimacy and teamwork in their relationship. Yes, it does take some willingness to make changes in yourself, but these changes are well worth the effort because they affect the individuals’s whole life in a positive way.

Couples therapy has a 82% failure rate according to the APA. Couples counseling rarely works when it is done in the original way with both partners coming in to therapy and trying to work out their difficulties in the therapist’s office so that they can feel loving and connected again.

What I mean by that is that couples traditionally come to couples counseling to resolve their repetitive power struggles. Unfortunately , I believe their issues cannot be resolved by couples counseling where both partners come together to hash out their differences in the therapist’s office .

Conjoint therapy (when the couple comes in together ) can only work when each partner in the couple has been relieved of at least some of their triggers that continually get activated by their partner. { our partners are unconsciously picked by us for the very purpose of activating our triggers…believe it or not- so that we can heal and become more whole) .

My goal, (which is different from traditional couples therapists) is to remove or soften the triggers in each person so that each person in the couple can be available to their partner’s perspective and also become more open to the world around them. This is how change happens!

This goal is best accomplished by working with each person separately and then bringing them in together alternately.  Some couples need more individual work and other couples need more couples work.   Each case is different and unique.