EMDR for depression, therapy, eye movement desensitization, EFT, EMDR in Los Angeles

EMDR news

EMDR was originally created for PTSD , Trauma and anxiety.  It is now used to treat depression.  This research study shoes the results of using EMDR( Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy  for depression in an inpatient setting.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4467776/

16 patients who were hospitalized for depression were treated with  EMDR and compared to a control group with the same diagnosis and degree of depression who were not treated with this.  The results showed that 68% of the EMDR group showed full remission at the end of treatment.

I use Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy to treat depression because memories that are traumatic or even just negative form the basis for your self esteem.  For example memories of being slighted, neglected, or criticized form references in the mind which create self fulfilling prophesies.  If we feel unworthy of a partner or a job that we want we will create not getting that.

To change your self concept you have to go in and change your perceptions of these memories. EMDR and EFT are excellent ways of doing that.

 

Manipulative People,Abusive Relationships, Addicitve Relationships, Blog, Controlling Relationships with a BPD partner, Emotionally Controlling or Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Red Flags to Spot Manipulative People

Identify Manipulative people


If you want to identify manipulative people to avoid in relationships you must look at YOUR  own behavior and intuitive feelings.  This list is very complete…ENJOY!

To help you focus on what situations you have been attracting into your life, it is useful to go through this list and circle the ones you can recognize from your life. Most people specialize in 4 or 5 of these Red Flag Scenarios.  When you  have your list be sure to see if anyone in your life now fits into these categories.

Much of attraction is unconscious and you must focus on these qualities consciously in order to be aware of them.

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Fear of Rejection

Rejection Fear -How your Beliefs Sabotage your Relationships.

Fear of Rejection will sabotage your relationships.


Fear of rejection is a big obstacle to creating a lasting relationship.

Fear of rejection comes from past hurts of being rejected. I’ve seen people carry around rejection fears from seeing other people rejected, so it doesn’t even have to happen to you to affect you deeply.

Until you release this pain or fear that got imprinted into your subconscious mind from past experiences you believe that you will be rejected. What you believe is what you will create. You will always choose people to reject you…In fact if they don’t reject you , will find a way to reject yourself…You’ll come up with something like ,” You don’t really love me, you just love what I do for you”.

Our deeply held beliefs drive all of our behaviors. Many of our beliefs are unconscious and the only way we can identify them is by looking at our behaviors. Strong feelings hold these beliefs in place.

We can change this by going to the memories behind our unwanted actions and then changing the feelings behind them. With the feelings changed the “drivers” are gone and we can imprint new experiences that we’d rather have in their place.

This powerful process for change is called FasterEFT. It is a relatively new process which I find to be really amazing in the results it gets.

marital affairs infidelity,extra marital affairs, affairs, couples, los angeles

What is the main reason married men have extra marital affairs…it may surprise you

While extra marital affairs do involve sex, research shows that sexual drive is not the main reason married men have affairs. You may be surprised what research shows.  
See article http://blogs.psychcentral.com/healing-together/2013/09/an-unrecognized-reason-that-married-men-have-affairs/?utm_content=bufferd5ed3&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

borderline personality, borderline personality disorder, relationship, personality disorder, emotional abuse

Borderline Personality Relationships-are you in one?

Borderline Personality Relationships


Are you in a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder?

Have you had intense passion and intimate feelings for a person with high highs and low lows?

Does this sound familiar: obsessing about him/her, yet no matter what you do, you can’t seem please the person?

If this applies to you, read further to see if you are in a relationship with a “Borderline Personality.”

– Your partner swings from extremes like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

– one moment passionately loving you in a way that makes you feel very special and in the next moment attacking you, threatening you and even raging violently.

– Being blamed and criticized for everything wrong in the relationship to the point that you are afraid to reveal what you really think or feel. You feel like you are in a double bind: you’re dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t. If you ask for anything you are told your needs are wrong or not important.

– Feeling that if you want to keep the relationship you have to deny what you feel to the point that you have become confused about what you really feel. You feel like you’re loosing your grip on reality.  Just when you decide you  have had enough the Borderline will throw in some caring behavior to throw you off balance and keep you confused.

– When you try to leave the relationship the other person makes declarations of love and devotion or makes threats to you like “no one but me will ever love you.” Emotional abuse victims can be convinced that no one else could want them and they stay in abusive situations because they believe that if they leave they will just be alone forever.

– The abusing person seems to have an uncanny ability to know what you’re thinking and can see into you with such amazing accuracy that you feel special in some way when you are with them much of the time. Longing for these loving moments when you feel seen keep you in the relationship.

-Emotional abuse can be more damaging than psysical abuse because the insults, criticism and accusations chip away at the person’s self esteem and their very core until they blame themselves for the abuse and sometimes even cling to the abuser. Often the abuser in this type of relationship has Borderline Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Traits.

Help is available


If you know anyone who is in a relationship like this please show them this article and let them know that they need help. Both people in an abusive relationship need help.  I work with couples in abusive relationships to show them what can be done to create a good relationship.  I also can give the person with BPD a referral to a therapist who is skilled in working with this issue.  Anyone who is truly committed to doing what it takes to change can change these destructive behaviors and learn how to have a good relationship.

EFT, intimate relationships, Impossible Relationships

Break Free From Impossible Relationships with EFT

The 2 most common blocks to having the relationships you want and how to eliminate them using EFT (Emotional  Freedom Techniques).

The most common block to creating intimate relationships is one that we all feel at some time in our lives…

…the belief that we are not good enough to create intimate relationships we want or that we are not lovable enough to have someone of our choosing to love us. This can be healed by working with each limiting belief that we have acquired from painful experiences from childhood. I will explain how to do this in the next section when I talk about removing the emotional pull of impossible attractions.

The other thing that causes us to miss out on having a fulfilling relationship is that we are compelled to choose people who will bring us pain rather than pleasure.  And you may be wondering why we would do that.  It is an unconscious choice we make.  We form an image in our mind in childhood of our ideal partner based on the good and bad traits of a parent.  For example if you had a parent who was critical of you and no matter how hard you tried to please them they withheld love and approval from you, you may be attracted to partners who are critical of you and can’t really see your good traits.

Here’s an Exercise to find a negative trait from a parent that you were hutrt of affected by. Write down the most painful (to you) trait of one of your parents that had a strong emotional pull for you. It could be a critical and withholding parent, a violent or angry parent a parent who played the helpless victum role with you and you felt compelled to rescue that parent much of the time. If you spent much of your energy resuing and caretaking a parent who played a victim role, you will probably attract many victim types into your life. Playing the caretaking role can become very familiar and comfortable if you learned to play that role as a child.

Identify negative traits in your parents.

1. Identify the 1 or 2 negative traits that you suffered from the most with either parent.
2. Notice if your past partners had any of these traits. This can be very subtle but you will find these traits in people you have attracted into your life. I call these Impossible attractions.

To eliminate the pull of impossible attractions:

First Feel the pain of the wound from the rejection of a parent and use EFT to heal and release the old pain by tapping on the EFT meridians while simply feeling this old pain. Tapping on the pain moves the painful feelings through the body. Then use EFT with “inner child work” to give the wounded part the loving , compassion, and understanding it needed…repairing the original wound. When you release the pain and heal up the hole made by the original wound, you can stop attracting people who will re-injure that original wound, while hoping that they will meet those earlier needs that were un met.

Pain holds limiting beliefs about ourselves in place.

We want to learn to meet our own needs. The paradox here is that when we can heal our own pain and not depend on a partner to do it, we will have lots of partners who will want to do it for us. This type of self reliance is something people are very attracted to- it feels very free.

By using a tapping sequence for relationships you can lessen or remove your tendency to recreate the same impossible relationships, thud for releasing the blocks to finding  and allowing in love. This works in part because it addresses all the obstacles that are causing the problem. Only after we have acknowledged something, can we change it. After acknowledging the problem then this process taps the negative beliefs with their accompanying  feelings away.

remove emotional pain quickly, emotional pain quickly, remove emotional pain, EFT,Anxiety

Anxiety-EFT For Removing Painful Feeling

Emotional Freedom in Minutes


Listen or download a 5 minute EFT instruction for tapping away anxiety
FREE Audio Download

Remove emotional pain quickly with a technique you can do yourself in just minutes. With skilled guidance, you can not only remove emotional pain quickly, but also remove physical pain quickly.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is one of the  Energy Therapies for emotional release that Susan  uses at her Los Angeles office. It’s short-term therapy, with clients reporting almost instant improvement.

Since this removes feelings that have caused low self esteem and depression, it is a tool everyone can use on an everyday basis to help with low self esteem, relationship problems, depression, PTSD, fear and anxiety disorders, eating disorders or debilitating negative beliefs, controlling-anger issues and more.

EFT works great with children.

I teach EFT to families so that each one can use it when they need it-because I think it’s a wonderful tool for managing anxiety and other emotions. The most amazing thing about EFT is that clearing these fears removes scary and self-limiting beliefs that have been driving people their whole lives.

How to Do EFT


Emotional Freedom Therapy was developed by Gary Craig, who simplified Roger Callahan’s revolutionary Thought Field Therapy (TFT).

EFT works directly on the energy points (meridian system) of the body. Like acupressure, relief comes in part from stimulating the meridians. But instead of needles, the person’s meridians are tapped with the fingers. Whether EFT is performed by a therapist or self-applied, over 80% of people achieve either noticeable improvement or complete cessation of the problem.

These methods work by triggering sub-cortical activity below the level of conscious control (in the amygdala and hippocampus). The intensity of emotional responses are also reduced. A body of documented scientific studies prove the benefits of EFT are real.

EFT

Emotional Freedom in Minutes with EFT

Remove emotional pain quickly – with a technique you can do yourself, one that you can learn in just minutes!

With skilled guidance, you can not only remove emotional pain quickly, but also remove physical pain quickly.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is one of the new Energy Therapies that Susan Quinn employs at her Los Angeles office. It’s short-term therapy, with clients reporting almost instant improvement. Some report full recovery from emotional and physical pain.  EFT is also helpful for removing the cravings of addictions such as alcohol and drugs.

Once she began exploring the new Power Therapies 15 years ago , Susan Quinn has been integrating EFT with EMDR and uses this combinations with children, adolescents and even with couples.

Works with Families and Children

EFT Los Angeles EFT

“I teach EFT to all my clients, even children,” says Susan Quinn, “because I think it’s a wonderful tool for managing anxiety and other emotions.The most amazing thing about EFT is that even in times when unexpected emotions arise, such as fear or anxiety, a person has a toolbox to use and knows how to reduce their fear.” 

It doesn’t matter whether your goal is to remove emotional pain quickly or remove physical pain quickly. The short-term therapy of EFT can bring relief from phobias, depression, grief, rape, natural disasters, crime, childhood sexual abuse, post traumatic stress and more.

Although Power Therapy methods differ in emphasis and approach, all work by interrupting old habits and reflexes that were established around the painful incidents.

“The beliefs that have the most power are unconscious, so they have to be carefully teased out,” Susan Quinn says. “But these techniques provide tangible relief from the time they’re tried for most people.”

What is EFT?

EFT tapping, or Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) belong to a family of therapies that offer clinically effective alternatives to traditional, long-term treatments. These Power therapies usually require 6 to 12 sessions to relieve symptoms and the results are usually permanent.

Each short-term therapy can remove emotional pain quickly, remove physical pain quickly, and provide noticeable relief from negative emotions and trauma by rewiring neural pathways in the brain.

The painful reactions are replaced with non-distressful, more appropriate responses. The client almost immediately experiences a reduction in intensity of the distress.

These methods work by triggering sub-cortical activity below the level of conscious control (in the amygdala and hipocampus). The intensity of emotional responses are also reduced. A body of documented scientific studies prove the benefits are real.Fortunately, a person doesn’t have to believe in these techniques for them to work.

How to Do EFT

Emotional Freedom Therapy was developed by Gary Craig, who simplified Roger Callahan’s revolutionary Thought Field Therapy (TFT). A TFT therapist followscomplex tapping sequences (protocols) for numerous symptoms. By contrast, EFT taps on the same meridian points on the face and body for every problem.

EFT Tapping

EFT Tapping

EFT  tapping works directly on the energy points (meridian system) of the body. Like acupuncture, relief comes in part from stimulating the meridians. But instead of needles, the person’s meridians are tapped with the fingers. Whether EFT is performed by a therapist or self-applied, over 80% of people achieve either noticeable improvement or complete cessation of the problem.

empty nest syndrome, nest syndrome, empty nest right now

Empty Nest Syndrome and Depression

Empty Nest Syndrome Is More Common Today


Empty nest syndrome is a time when children leave the home and couples are particularly vulnerable to marital problems and divorce at this time. The structure that has held the family together is now compromised or gone. This is like a bridge that develops cracks and becomes unstable and eventually collapses.

Depression is part of Empty Nest Syndrome

The family system can also collapse if the cracks in the bridge (structure) are not repaired and rebuilt.

This is not a surprising consequence when more and more in the last 10 or 12 years couples are focusing all their energy on the children’s activities to the detriment of their own couple relationship.

This causes resentment and resentment erodes the good feelings in the marriage.

Empty Nest Syndrome

I encourage couples going through empty nest syndrome to get couples coaching or therapy at the first sign of feeling resentment toward their partner to repair the imtimacy in the relationship. If this is caught in time before it gets too far along the intimacy can be reignited, otherwise this situation becomes a breeding ground for affairs and divorce.

There is hope for a good outcome in spite of these changes.  You can create a dynamic relationship Right Now! 

This is the time to explore what you want your relationship and your life to be right now.  With honesty, soul searching and good communication you can create a fulfilling relationship full of connection and intimacy.

outsmart holiday depression

6 easy ways to outsmart holiday depression

Thanksgiving is  upon us again and therefore Thanksgiving Depression which is part of holiday depression.


For most of us, the holidays are not as joyful as they are touted to be.  There are many reasons for this.  Many people compare the holiday today to happier ones in the past.  Comparisons are not useful because things are always changing. We need to be in the present to enjoy life.

Many people are alone or have lost loved ones with whom they previously enjoyed the holidays.

If you are feeling sad in this holiday season there is hope to change this if you will do a few simple preventative actions before the holidays are upon us.

  • PLAN AHEAD  Instead of just letting the holiday happen to you plan ahead some things that you will enjoy doing on the holiday.  It may be getting outside, seeing a movie, having a great meal, going for a long walk.  Plan something with a group of people like going to a meet up.  You can find these through meet up.com and they literally have a meet up on everything from going to the movies, to learning to cook Italian to walking on the beach.  People at meet ups are usually very friendly because they too are looking to meet new friends.
  • MONITOR YOUR THOUGHTS You can learn to manage your mood by monitoring your thoughts.  Hers’s how to do that.  Ask your observing mind to remind you each time you think a limiting thought .  A limiting thought says ” I can’t have that or do that because…….  These limiting thoughts are distorted so we need to bust them as they come happen.  So catch these thoughts and say to that thought, “I know that you’re real(meaning they have a real effect on the body) but you’re not true.  Instead of trying to argue with these limiting thoughts just watch them go bye in your mind, saying to yourself There is a worry going bye.”  “There is a fear going bye” and just let them pass as clouds pass across the sky.  You will see that you can separate from this if you practice this.
  • EXERCISE  Exercise raises your mood so plan to spend 30 minutes to an hour a day during the holidays exercising.  Doing it outside will boost your mood even more.  Health experts say we should spend at least an hour a day outside to be healthy.  Plan a specific type of exercise at a specific time for yourself (first thing in the morning is best).  This will give you a feeling of accomplishment as well as an energy boost. Also Zumba and Laughing Yoga are excellent mood raisers.
  • BE GRATEFUL  By setting the intention every morning when you wake up to find one NEW thing during the day to be grateful for.  This helps your mind look for the good things in your day.  At night write down what the thing you are grateful for.  This trains your mind to be on the outlook for good things.  Also   after a few weeks of this you will have to be creative finding new things to appreciate.  This will enhance your awareness as well as your happiness.
  • PLAN SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO  If you have a trip or event ( maybe even seeing a movie you have wanted to see) to look forward to this can keep your mood up during any sad times during the holidays.
  • GIVE BACK Look for a way to give to people less fortunate than you.  Start with the internet and do research on this and you will find a way to give back.  It could be at a church, school or retirement home.  Be creative and see what you can come up with.