Emotional Affairs in the Workplace
I am having a large increase of couples coming into couples therapy to deal with an emotional affair. I am seeing quite a few middle aged couples in which one of the spouses ends up starting emotional affairs in the workplace.
Secret Emotional Affair
The way an emotional affair can develop is that the two people start emailing more and more often. When their conversation gets personal and they start talking about their marriage and complaining about their spouse, this is the beginning of an emotional affair. Soon this develops into a place to share greivances and get validation.
Emotional Affair Signs
Often when this happens the couple want to go farther and often will start meeting even though they may live thousands of miles apart. When this happens the emotional affair usually develops into a full-blown affair.
If you are having an emotional affair or know someone who is, please warn them that this is dangerous if they want to keep their marriage.
An emotional affair is even more seductive than a sexual affair because of the freedom that most people feel compelled to communicate on the internet. Conversing back and forth has a sense of immediacy and intimacy when it is done continually for a period of time. Texting is intimate and immediate. This causes connection. A relationship is built on connection, interest and validaton. Emailing and texting provide the context for a relationship to develop with a special kind of intimacy.
Surviving An Emotional Affair
Don’t take an emotional affair casually because this kind of communication provides the basis for a strong attraction to develop. If you are doing this know that you are cheating even though sex is not envolved. Cheating is simply a sign something is missing in the relationship. Most people who cheat don’t want their marriage to end, they just want the excitement of something new. The truth is that you can create something new in your marriage if you use the threat of an emotional affair to start to explore and find out what is missing in your own marriage and create a new closeness and intimacy there with the help of a good therapist.
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