The two most common blocks to having the relationship

EFT Tapping

The 2 most common blocks to having the relationship you want and how to eliminate them using EFT technique (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

The most common block to creating an intimate relationship is one that we all feel at some time in our lives…
The belief that we are not good enough to have the relationship we want or that we are not lovable enough to have someone of our choosing to love us. This can be healed by working with each limiting belief that we have acquired from painful experiences from childhood. I will explain how to do this in the next section when I talk about removing the emotional pull of impossible attractions.

The other thing that causes us to miss out on having a fullfilling relationship is that we are compelled to choose people who will bring us pain rather than pleaseure. And you may be wondering why we would do that.  It is an unconscious choice we make.  We form an image in our mind in childhhood of our ideal partner based on the good and bad traits of a parent.  For example if you had a parent who was critical of you and no matter how hard you tried to please them they withheld love and approval from you, you may be attracted to partners who are critical of you and can’t really see your good traits. Here’s an Exercise:  Find a negative trait from a parent that you were hurt orf affected by. Write down the most painful trait that had a strong emotional pull for you. It could be a critical and withholding parent, a violent or angry parent, a parent who played the helpless victim role with you and you felt compelled to rescue that parent much of the time. If you spent much of your energy rescuing and caretaking a parent who played a victim role, you will probably attract many victim types into your life. Playing the caretaking role can become very familiar and comfortable if you learned to play that role as a child.

Identify negative traits in your parents

  1. Identify the 1 or 2 negative traits that you suffered from the most with either parent.
  2. Notice if your past partners had any of these traits. This can be very subtle but you will find these traits in people you have attracted into your life. I call these impossible attractions.

To eliminate the pull of impossible attractions:

First Feel the pain of the wound from the rejection of a parent and use EFT technique to heal and release the old pain by tapping on the EFT meridians while simply feeling this old pain. Tapping on the pain moves the painful feelings through the body. Then use EFT technique with “inner child work” to give the wounded part the loving , compassion, and understanding it needed…repairing the original wound.
When you release the pain and heal up the hole made by the orininal wound, you can stop attracting people who will reinjure that original wound, while hoping that they will rmeet those earlier needs that were un met.  The truth is that we are the best person to heal our inner child wounds.  No one else can do it.

Pain holds limiting beliefs about ourselves in place.

We want to learn to meet our own needs. The paradox here is that when we can heal our own pain and not depend on a partner to do it, we will have lots of partners who will want to do it for us. This type of self reliannce is something people are very attracted to- it feels very free.
Here is a tapping sequence for releasing the blocks to finding  and allowing in love. This works in part because it addresses all the obstacles that are causing the problem. Only after we have acknowledged something, can we change it. After acknowledging the problem then this process taps the negative feelings away by telling the body to let them go.

Here’s a tapping experience. For allowing in the one who can be a good partner for you. You can do this over and over and the more you do it the more you will have cleared out a lot of the fears and limiting beliefs that block you from having the relationship you want.

We start tapping on the side of the hand below the little finger, called the karate point…  so tapping on the side of the hand  now, repeat after me:
Even though I often feel unworthy of having a loving intimate relationship  I want to completely accept myself anyway,
Even though I feel unlovable I completely accept myself now.
Even though I don’t feel like anyone would stay with me if they really knew me I want to deeply and completely accept myself now.

Now tapping on the inside corner of the eyebrow, designated by “EB.” EB I don’t deserve to have someone I would want to be with. Corner of the eye “CE “A great person wouldn’t want me. .Under the eye”UE” I am only attractive to loosers. Under the nose “UN” I’m afraid if I meet someone good they will find out that I’m flawed. Collar bone “CB” It’s pointless to even try because all the good ones are already taken anyway. Under the arm”UA” What if someone desirable was able to love me? “Top of head “TH” What if a good person was able to really love me after all?  EB what if that could really happen once or twice or even three times?{Keep tapping around the points } Is it possible? What if they could like me with all my faults and negative traits? What if they actually liked my negative traits? What if I actually enjoyed the things about them that they didn’t like ? What if they found my negative traits delightful? What if they accepted all my shortcomings and I accepted theirs as well. What if they wanted me even thought I have all these challenges? What if they were acceting of their own problems and mine as well? What if I could see beyond their frailties and challenges and they could see beyond mine as well? What if I could accept their challenges and quirks and could see their spiritual being?What if I could love their soul and they could  love my soul and we could just simply love each other in pure acceptance? Isnt that what we all want anyway?

If you do this tapping sequence every day at least once you will change your beliefs about your ability to have the relationship you want.


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  • How to Get Rid of Depressing Thoughts Fast Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) « Heather's Huntington'sDisease Blog

    - 11:45 am

    […] your awareness on the feeling, simply tap on the meridian points on the face and body. There is a picture of these points on my blog. Just follow the points on the picture, tapping about 3 rounds on all the points, and you will find […]

  • leasa

    - 4:39 am

    I am excited on this journey of recovering from sexual abuse physical abuse and learning how to be good to me so I can help others I went to my first screening yesterday and pulled up alot of feelings I havnt felt for years and very thankful for the people who want to help me peel away the layers of my feelings from my childhood that I have just stuffed way down and I am excited to learn coping skills with lifes situations and be able to function like a normal person. Feeling kind of emotional this morning I think it might be from digging up things I have stuffed down because it hurt to bad to feel. My counselor said I have severe ptsd and manic depressive and anxiety disorder.

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