The 2 most common blocks to having the relationships you want and how to eliminate them using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).
The most common block to creating intimate relationships is one that we all feel at some time in our lives…
…the belief that we are not good enough to create intimate relationships we want or that we are not lovable enough to have someone of our choosing to love us. This can be healed by working with each limiting belief that we have acquired from painful experiences from childhood. I will explain how to do this in the next section when I talk about removing the emotional pull of impossible attractions.
The other thing that causes us to miss out on having a fulfilling relationship is that we are compelled to choose people who will bring us pain rather than pleasure. And you may be wondering why we would do that. It is an unconscious choice we make. We form an image in our mind in the childhood of our ideal partner based on the good and bad traits of a parent. For example, if you had a parent who was critical of you and no matter how hard you tried to please them they withheld love and approval from you, you may be attracted to partners who are critical of you and can’t really see your good traits.
Here’s an Exercise to find a negative trait from a parent that you were hurt or affected by. Write down the most painful (to you) trait of one of your parents that had a strong emotional pull for you. It could be a critical and withholding parent, a violent or angry parent a parent who played the helpless victim role with you and you felt compelled to rescue that parent much of the time. If you spent much of your energy resuing and caretaking a parent who played a victim role, you will probably attract many victim types into your life. Playing the caretaking role can become very familiar and comfortable if you learned to play that role as a child. EFT can help you in this.
Identify negative traits in your parents.
1. Identify the 1 or 2 negative traits that you suffered from the most with either parent.
2. Notice if your past partners had any of these traits. This can be very subtle but you will find these traits in people you have attracted into your life. I call these Impossible attractions.
To eliminate the pull of impossible attractions:
First Feel the pain of the wound from the rejection of a parent and use EFT to heal and release the old pain by tapping on the EFT meridians while simply feeling this old pain. Tapping on the pain moves the painful feelings through the body. Then use EFT with “inner child work” to give the wounded part the loving, compassionate, and understanding it needed…repairing the original wound. When you release the pain and heal up the hole made by the original wound, you can stop attracting people who will re-injure that original wound, while hoping that they will meet those earlier needs that were unmet.
Pain holds limiting beliefs about ourselves in place.
We want to learn to meet our own needs. The paradox here is that when we can heal our own pain and not depend on a partner to do it, we will have lots of partners who will want to do it for us. This type of self-reliance is something people are very attracted to- it feels very free.
By using a tapping sequence for relationships you can lessen or remove your tendency to recreate the same impossible relationships, thud for releasing the blocks to finding and allowing in love. This works in part because it addresses all the obstacles that are causing the problem. Only after we have acknowledged something, can we change it? After acknowledging the problem then this process taps the negative beliefs with their accompanying feelings away.
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